The Unique and the Useless, the next dose!

Color Kid

color

  • Alter ego:                                Ulu Vakk
  • Affiliation:                              Legion of Super Heroes
  •                                                  Legion of Substitute Heroes
  • Powers:                                   Change the colors of people and objects
  • Species:                                   Lupran
  • 1st Appearance:                       Adventure Comics #342         (DC Comics)

Color Kid was struck by a multi-color beam of light from another dimension.  This gave him the ability to change the color of just about anything.  Little is know about the limits of his power or how permanent it is.  There can be a case made for a temporary use of this power IE changing a color to confuse an enemy: reverse the color of the sky and the ground.   This would have to be limited to a very specific area.  If it were allowed to be used over a large area, the bad would far outweigh the good.  Think, planes.

He did have one stellar moment in comic book history when he changed the krypton cloud surrounding the earth from green to blue.  Allowing Superboy and Supergirl to return to earth and wrecking havoc for the Bizarro clan.

Doorman

doorman

  • Alter ego:                                DeMarr Davis
  • Affiliation:                              Great Lakes Champions
  •                                                   GLX-Men
  •                                                   Great Lakes Avengers
  • Aliases:                                    The Living Portal
  • Powers:                                   Portal generation
  •                                                    Ability to bring souls to the afterlife
  • Species:                                   Human
  • 1st Appearance:                   Avengers West Coast (Vol. 2) #46     (Marvel Comics)

Doorman allowed a person to teleport from one room to the next.  He did this by pressing himself against a wall creating a portal to the next room.  If you need to enter the room next door and happen to not have a key, then Doorman would be really handy to have around.  However, explaining how come this guy is hanging around all the time in case you need to make a quick escape could provide arduous.

In his defense, his power did evolve into something quite a bit more useful.  Doorman sacrificed himself so Mr. Immortal could fight Maelstrom.  In doing so he gained the ability to take souls to the afterlife.  This power is quite a bit better but has not really been explored.

Stone Boy

stone boy

  • Alter ego:                                Dag Wentim
  • Affiliation:                               Legion of Super-Heroes
  •                                                    Legion of Substitute Heroes
  • Powers:                                   Ability to turn his body into stone
  • Species:                                   Swenian
  • 1st Appearance:                   Adventure Comics #306         (DC Comics)

Stone Boy can turn his body into stone.  At first glance that sounds like it could be good, except and this is a big except, while he is stone he cannot move.  So he makes a good anchor or something to drop on people.  He did eventually learn to turn only pieces of himself into stone but it was not reliable.  His ability to transform into stone can be traced to his home world’s where he had to hibernate to survive the six month long nights.

Squirrel Girl

Squirrel_Girl

  • Alter ego:                                Doreen Green
  • Affiliation:                              Great Lakes Avengers
  •                                                  New Avengers
  • Aliases:                                    Rodent
  • Powers:                                   Squirrel-like abilities
  •                                                   Superhuman agility and strength
  •                                                   Prehensile tail
  •                                                    Ability to communicate with squirrels
  • Species:                                   Human
  • 1st Appearance:                   Avengers West Coast (Vol. 2) #46     (Marvel Comics)

Squirrel Girl’s ability to call squirrels to aid her isn’t exactly the coolest power but it could come in handy.  With an army of squirrels, enemies can be overwhelmed by sheer numbers, think Ben (rats …. squirrels not too much difference).   She did defeat Deadpool.  So the sheer number of rodents she is willing to sacrifice does allow her to come out on top.  She does have some skill at martial arts due to her squirrel like reflexes.  So she can be formidable if there are a large number of squirrels around.  Hopefully, she carries a lot of flea spray.

Gin Genie

gin

  • Alter ego:                                Rebecca “Beckah” Parker
  • Affiliation:                              X-Force
  • Powers:                                  Attractive Female
  •                                                 Blast Power
  •                                                 Earth Manipulation
  •                                                 Vibration Wave
  • Species:                                   Human
  • 1st Appearance:                      X-Force #116 – Exit Wounds             (Marvel Comics)

Gin Genie can cause the ground to shake with seismic vibrations, which would be good except…why is it that all the excepts usually turn a decent power into something useless.  Now back to the except….she must drink alcohol to make the seismic vibrations powerful.  So a drunk super hero that makes the ground shake.  Doesn’t the ground usually seem to be moving when you are drunk?  So there it is an alcoholic superhero.  How did that ever seem like a good idea.

So there is the next dose of the utter absurdity lambasted upon us by those who felt we were inane enough to buy into this insanity.  How many doses there will be is up in the air, about the time I think that has to be it, I find something else and think WTF.