The Unique and the Useless, dose #3!

Puck

puck

  • Alter ego:                                 Eugene Milton Judd
  • Affiliation:                                Alpha Flight
  •                                                     Beta Flight
  •                                                     Gamma Flight
  •                                                     X-Force
  • Powers:                                    Superhuman strength
  •                                                     Agility
  •                                                     Reflexes
  •                                                     Durability
  •                                                     Skilled fighter
  • Species:                                    Human
  • 1st Appearance:                     Marvel Age #2             (Marvel)

Judd was a soldier of fortune, who traveled the world looking for adventures.  In one of those adventures, Judd tried to get the “Black Blade of Raazer.”   An evil spirit, Raazer was accidentally released from the blade.  In trying to defeat Raazer, Judd had to absorb him into his body.  This caused Judd to shrink from 7’0 to 3’6.  He still retained the strength of a 7’0 man but in a 3’6 body.  Containing Raazer in his body caused him to become immortal and in constant pain.

So Puck is the epitome of half a man, since he is half as his original size.  His signature move is to cartwheel around hitting people.  Hopefully he doesn’t get dizzy.  There has to be a better way to use superhuman strength other than cartwheel around.

Red Bee

red bee

  • Alter ego:                                 Richard Raleigh
  • Affiliation:                                All-Star Squadron
  •                                                     Freedom Fighters
  • Powers:                                    Carries a special “Stinger” gun
  •                                                     Uses trained bees
  • Species:                                    Human
  • 1st Appearance:                    Hit Comics #1              (DC Comics)

By day an Assistant District Attorney in Superior City, Oregon.  By night or whenever needed a welder of trained bees.  Trusty “stinger gun” by his side he lives to fight Nazi’s and gangsters.  His secret weapon, his favorite bee Michael who lives in his belt buckle, only to appear for special circumstances.  I am not sure how you would train a bee,  Bee’s live about 6 weeks, sting once then die.  Maybe these are special attack bee’s.  Born with the innate ability to listen to a guy in red and yellow spandex.  They don’t have to sting after all that is what the “stinger gun” is for.

Cypher

cypher

  • Alter ego:                                 Douglas Aaron “Doug” Ramsey
  • Affiliation:                                New Mutants
  •                                                     Hellions
  •                                                     X-Force
  •                                                     X-Men
  • Powers:                                    Omni-lingual
  • Species:                                    Human
  • 1st Appearance:                    New Mutants vol. 1 #13           (Marvel Comics)

Cypher can translate any language, written or verbal, human or alien, even computer.  During fights he would hide behind a tree or whatever was around.  He considered himself useless as a mutant.  He was most unpopular mutant.  Even the guys that did wrote and illustrated the comics didn’t like him.    He did have nice hair (I had to say one nice thing about him).

Hindsight

hindsight

  • Alter ego:                                  Carlton LaFroyge
  • Affiliation:                                 New Warriors
  • Aliases:                                      Hindsight Lad
  • Powers:                                     None
  • Species:                                     Human
  • 1st Appearance:                     Avengers West Coast (Vol. 2) #46       (Marvel Comics)

Hindsight can research and analyze events in hindsight.  So after it has happened this guy can do research and tell you what went wrong.  Ok, so can everyone else.  Not sure this needs much more explanation.

Jubilee

Jubileedecimation

  • Alter ego:                                 Jubilation “Jubilee” Lee
  • Affiliation:                                Forgiven
  •                                                     New Warriors
  •                                                     X-Men
  •                                                     X-Corps
  •                                                     Generation X
  •                                                     Xavier Institute
  • Powers:                                    Ability to project brightly colored pyrotechnics from her
  •                                                     fingers.
  • Species:                                    Human
  • 1st Appearance:                    X-Force #116 – Exit Wounds               (Marvel Comics)

Jubilee can make fireworks from her fingers.  She is great to have around during parties and especially the 4th of July.  She could control the fireworks through mental control.  Direct them where to go, how to form and when to detonate.  Jubilee has gone through several remakes, from mutant to de-powered human and finally vampire.  Now as a vampire she can be pretty powerful as long as it is a night and no garlic, silver or crosses are around.  I wonder if the brightly colored pyrotechnics of her former self would damage her current self.  That would be irony at its best.

Dose number three of the utter absurdity lambasted upon us by those who felt we were inane enough to buy into this insanity.  I am sure there will be more.  There is a lot of WTF out there.

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